Does Hope for the future, or hope in general, get taken after the loss of a loved one? It’s something i have been thinking about lately.
We all have hopes and dreams in our lives: We hope to get better, easier jobs that pay more money; We hope our families our safe, healthy and happy; We hope we will be able to achieve the goals we set for ourselves in our lives.
But doesnt it seem like after a tragedy such as a violent crime, all that hope has been stolen from the griever? Gone now is a key component to our hopes; Them.
But where does that hope go? Does it just disappear?
The more and more i think about it i would have to say it is translated into a different kind of hope – a hope that is implanted into all of us when our loved one dies. A hope to achieve the normalcy we once had.
I am not saying that everyone’s lives were perfect prior to the death of their loved ones. We all had, and currently have, problems in our lives that we need to fix – that’s just being realistic. But in looking back at all of those things, don’t the solutions all seem clearer? Wasn’t life, in some respect, simple?
Simple. Simple is a nice relative word that means something different to everyone who hear’s the two syllable phrase. What’s simple to you may be difficult to me and vice versa. I think what we are trying to achieve in our lives is maintaining that sense of simplicity.
But how do you do that?
I think it centers around faith. Not exclusively faith that is directly tied into religion, but the faith that we put into meaningful portions of our lives. I think there are many ways we can accomplish this:
Religon: I’m guessing alot of people fall into this category immidiately after the tragedy occurs. In what typically is a very comforting outlet, Religon is very familiar and typically can provide an answer or someone to listen for a variety of different subjects.
Family & Friends: I’ve also seen alot of this with people. Hope can be restored from other family members or friends by being there for the griever or helping the griever accomplish tasks or life events they otherwise thought were not possible.
Work: While some people think this may be destructive, i take a lot of pride and feel a great sense of accomplishment from what i produce at work. Setting new goals at work, after the loss of a loved one, may help keep a person occupied enough of the day not to focus on their grief for every waking second.
Projects/Hobbys: This also kind of falls into the work category but can be done at the griever’s own pace. I know whenever i am trying to take my mind of something i delve into another subject or try to learn something new.
While all of these things may not bring back the hope you once had for you or your loved one’s life, it will reinforce that you can still do the “simple” things in life that you once did so often.