I have a close relationship with words. We’re exclusive. I believe they have the power to persuade millions and the ability to destroy decades of harmony.
What i’ve been trying to articulate recently is the relationship between words and the grieving process. There is a part of me, which is astounding given my career choice, that finds words irrelevent when caring for someone grieving. That part of me believes that the action one takes to care for the griever outweighs any other action. What eventually happens to that part of me, however, is it is rationalized into silence by my words. I get to the point in which i conclude my words is my action taken to soothe the griever’s soul.
I think more people than most feel that way. Every now and then we get new people on the site that ask “what can you say?” But i think that is mearly the exception to the rule. People want to hear the words; even if they are cliche – they’re cliche for a reason.
The thing that has been battling me in my head is how to convey that message. In what ways do people want to be comforted?
There are a couple of different things we do that i believe are effective. Playing music is probably my most favorite thing to do (and ive written about this). We don’t post many regular videos, but i can see where they would have their purpose. What we do alot of is post: picture quotes, poems, regular quotes – that sort of thing.
What i write well is scripts/ short stories and poetry. I’ve been toying with the idea of writing a short story – but i’m not sure how i could make it helpful to a mass grouping of people. I think the lyrical nature of poetry helps people relate to it a bit better than other outlets.
On a emotional level, i’m curious how poetry relates to the griever. What feelings do they feel? Is it empowerment because people are feeling the same emotions as you? Is it the stinging tinge of reliving the tragedy – just to know you still are alive? I think the reasons are different in each circumstance.
What are your reasons? How do the words affect you? Do they have any influence?
To me, on a bad day, the right words can be inspiring. They can give me a new lease on life. I think the right poem can serve so many purposes. It can be a hand up on a bad day or it can serve as a template for the type of person you want to be.
Here is my favorite poem. Sonnet 116 by William shakespeare is a declaration of unrelenting love. In some aspects, it’s how i view life. There is a line that makes me think of all of you; “Love is not love which alters when alteration finds.” I think all of you can relate to that. Your life has been altered by the loss of your loved one. But has your love for that person altered? In some respects, you could say its grown stronger. You will forever remember the positives of that person. The negatives of your relationship are thrown out the windowbecause of the way they exited your life. This poem is filled with examples like this.
I think the influence of poetry on the grieving works on all the levels we have talked about and more.What are the poems that have this sort of effect on you?