Note: the following article is the opinion of the author and does not reflect the opinions of rhv or its other contributors.
I believe in a philosophy in which you can only write about what you know. Granted, you can manipulate things to create something foreign to you; but there are still tinges or experiences that are unique to you.
I do not know about loss. I do not know about the grief that comes with losing someone. All I can know, with certainty, are the things I witness.
Tonight I want to write a little bit about interacting with someone going through the same loss.
Obviously your loved one wasn’t solely loved just by you. There were other people in his or her life. But when it comes down to interacting with each other afterward, what types of thing are appropriate?
When going through possessions who decides who gets what? Should other people be forced to participate, even when they may not be emotionally ready?
What about assessing ownership over the legacy of a person? Does someone have the right to “decide” who comes to a funeral? Shouldn’t everyone have the ability to pay respect to the passed?
These are the questions that need to be answered by everyone. Everyone should have an equal say and everyones feelings should be considered and valued. Open communication is a necessity. If there is no line of communication, feelings of hostility and resentment are bound to surface.
This is where I want to hear back from you. What did you and your family decide to do after the stage of shock dissipated? How often did you get together to keep the memory of your loved one alive? Were family relationships strained or enhanced after the loss of your loved one?
As always, stay strong. You’re in a community of people who love and care for you. – Nick